marriage – jordana lee bennett

Why I Stopped Blogging

I’ve decided to start this blog back up because I need more in my life. I always have. This is my creative outlet. And now, more than ever, I have stories to tell. They’ve been burning up inside me for well over a year, and I’m ready to share.

Well, hi there. This is awkward. You might be wondering where I’ve been (or maybe not). Or more likely, you follow me on social media and know where I’ve been, but not why I stopped writing.

I could easily say that I’ve been too busy to keep up with a blog, but the truth is I’m much busier now than I ever was before. I’m a mom now (more on that later). In fact, I stopped blogging right before I found out I was pregnant last year. I quit my job in marketing when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 9 months. I just started working again from home, as a part-time personal stylist. I’m busy from the time I open my eyes in the morning until my head hits the pillow at night (and sometimes in between those times, too).

So if I’m being honest with myself (and you), I stopped blogging because it required me to be vulnerable. Pregnancy and giving birth made me feel more vulnerable than I ever have in my life. Before that, whatever happened to me happened to only me. Now, if something happens to me, it greatly affects the little human that relies on me to take care of them 24/7. That is terrifying to me. I didn’t want to blog while pregnant because it would open me up to all sorts of judgment and criticism. My anxiety jumped to a whole new level when I became a mom too. An anxiety that told me I don’t know what I’m talking about and no one cares about what I think (again, I’ll talk more about that in another post).

Despite all those new negative changes in me, becoming a mom also made me more confident, more willing to fight the judgment and criticism. It’s this fierce mama bear instinct that I didn’t know was inside of me until I grew and pushed another human out of me. How could I not be more confident? Look at him. I made that.

Jordana

Photo by Vanessa Mendez Photography

25 Goals for My 25th Year

Last night, my husband and I were discussing our future. (Casual, I know.) He suggested we each make lists of goals we want to accomplish within the next ten years. Not going to lie, the idea of that freaks me out. Ten years is such an intimidatingly long time. And the idea of writing down things like, “buy a house” or “have babies” gives me much more anxiety the older I get. But since my birthday is a little less than two weeks away, I figured setting mini goals for my 25th year of life wouldn’t be the worst idea. I started my quarter-life crisis at 24 so I’m hoping turning 25 will be slightly more graceful.

Lessons I’ve Learned as a Newlywed (So Far)

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The first thing everyone asks when you get married and come home from your honeymoon is, “how’s married life?” If, like me, you were already in a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship and living together you don’t really know what to say. You might feel relief from the stress of wedding planning and possibly a bit more touchy-feely after vacationing with your best friend, but at that point everything is pretty much the same. My husband and I were inseparable since the moment we met four years before we got married. We fell in love fast and hard, which goes against everything I’ve ever believed about love and lasting relationships, but nearly five years of the most incredible love story I’ve ever known have proved me wrong so far. Continue reading “Lessons I’ve Learned as a Newlywed (So Far)”