It's so funny to me that the most natural thing in the world can at first feel like trying to bend a spoon with your mind.
Anxiety and depression are thieves. They steal my confidence, my will to keep going. They tell me that no one cares what I have to say, that I’m not enough, that I’m stupid. They tell me my ambitions and goals are unreachable, that I should just stop trying.
I feel like a big fat hypocrite for even writing this. At the moment, I could use about six additional hours of sleep, a hot shower, haircut, pedicure, and maybe just a moment or two to myself without a baby grabbing at my chest, a husband asking me a billion questions I don't have the answers to, or a dog begging me for my lunch.
I've decided to start this blog back up because I need more in my life. I always have. This is my creative outlet. And now, more than ever, I have stories to tell. They've been burning up inside me for well over a year, and I'm ready to share.
I honestly thought that was what my college years were for and that I would have my shit together by now, but I was very, very wrong. College gave me a clear-cut path for what my life was supposed to be. It gave me structure with deadlines, course catalogs, assignments, applications, schedules, and attendance policies. And then I graduated, got married, went on my honeymoon, looked around at all my choices and said, "okay, now what?" And the universe gave me white noise.
I always see cute date night ideas on Pinterest, but so many of those require money or living in a bigger metropolitan area than we do. It's easy to feel like you have to have more money to have a good time, which isn't true. We decided this weekend that we’re not going to do the same routine: Friday night dinner date, Saturday errand running, Sunday cleaning. We still did those things, but found new ways to throw in some quality time together.
1. When I wake up too early on a Sunday, but there's soft light filtering through the blinds, so I get up to watch the sunrise, drink coffee, and listen to the silence before the rest of the world wakes up. 2. When someone plays with my hair, running their fingers smoothly from the base of [...]
Last night, my husband and I were discussing our future. (Casual, I know.) He suggested we each make lists of goals we want to accomplish within the next ten years. Not going to lie, the idea of that freaks me out. Ten years is such an intimidatingly long time. And the idea of writing down things like, "buy a house" or "have babies" gives me much more anxiety the older I get. But since my birthday is a little less than two weeks away, I figured setting mini goals for my 25th year of life wouldn't be the worst idea. I started my quarter-life crisis at 24 so I'm hoping turning 25 will be slightly more graceful.
So, elephant in the room: it's been awhile... I've noticed I do this thing where if my life isn't going well, I shut down. I've heard of fitness bloggers or people who are dieting that do something similar when they have a bad week. They fall off the wagon, don't workout for a week, splurge on pizza, and [...]