I’m not even going to try to come up with excuses for why it’s been so long since I’ve posted on here. Shit happens. I’m trying to get it together. And this is probably mostly going to be me rambling, because I haven’t written in awhile. I’m sorry in advance.
My quarter-life crisis is in full effect, which means I’m constantly looking for new and exciting ways to fill my time, even though I have very little free time. I guess it’s not really to fill my time as much as it is to find some sort of purpose in my life. There’s been a reoccurring theme since turning 23 in which I decide I really want to do this or be that or go here or try this new something, and then I realize: I hate all of those things. Those things are not for me. Better try this new thing.
I honestly thought that was what my college years were for and that I would have my shit together by now, but I was very, very wrong. College gave me a clear-cut path for what my life was supposed to be. It gave me structure with deadlines, course catalogs, assignments, applications, schedules, and attendance policies. And then I graduated, got married, went on my honeymoon, looked around at all my choices and said, “okay, now what?” And the universe gave me white noise.
Do I get a job? What kind of job? Should I apply locally or explore my options out-of-state? Do I take a year off and travel? And then the bills started to come in, so I chose the first steady government job I was offered and moved us 300 miles away from our entire support system. I don’t want to say that was a mistake, but it was a pretty miserable two years. It would be one thing if it was away from family and friends, but in a really exciting city with culture and interesting people. But it was small-town Texas, isolated by miles and miles of flat land. I just… I don’t recommend it. Spending time with my husband was the only thing getting me through.
I did find a better job and move back to central Texas at the end of last year. In mostly every way I am so much happier. I’m so…relieved to be surrounded by my family and friends again, by familiar landmarks, right in the middle of not one, but two major cities with nightlife, art galleries, and oh, God, the best damn Mexican food! And then there’s that nagging voice in my head (and I’ve found in a lot of my fellow millennials’ heads) that isn’t satisfied. It’s asking if this is the career I really want? Do I want to have children yet? Should I travel more? Should I be putting more into savings? Should I buy those expensive shoes? Should I find a new church? Should I write more? Maybe I should take up a yoga class (I did). Maybe I need a less-stressful job. Is there such a thing? Do I really need as much money as I think I do to be happy? I don’t have the definitive answers to several of those questions yet, but…
This was a really round-about way of telling you that I’ve taken up photography. (Maybe I just needed to vent.) And really, I “took up” photography a long time ago. I have all the angsty, sepia-toned photos of flowers, my dog, and my friends to prove it. But this is the first time in my adult life that I’ve considered it a hobby, or possibly something more than a hobby. So I’ve borrowed my mom’s Nikon DSLR and would like to share the results with all of you, friends and internet strangers alike.
So this might turn into a photography blog (as well as a place for me to vent occasionally). I’m hoping to invest in my own camera soon (I’ve got my eye on a few) and continue to convince my friends and family to let me practice on them and showcase them here. I’ve complied some of my random favorites over the past month or two, and I recently took my sister-in-law’s senior photos, which I’ll share in a separate post. (I did include a couple at the end, as a preview.) If you actually read all of this, kudos to you for sticking through my ramblings! I hope you enjoy my *amateur* photos and I appreciate any and all feedback. Also, if you have any advice on picking out my first DSLR camera, I’ll take that too.
Click photos to enlarge and scroll through. All are shot and owned by me, and the only face I’ve included is my husband’s, out of respect for others’ privacy.